Do I Feel to Sing the Song of Redeeming Love?

A little while ago I was having a conversation with a new friend. He knows very little about me, he does not know of my particular challenges, and I know very little about him. We are in the same ward and so he knows that I go to church every Sunday and that I at least appear to fulfill my calling. With those qualifications I would say that a person is active. He and I must not have been on the same page, because he asked me if I was active, apparently just going to church doesn't qualify someone as being active...I have to say I agree. It was a good question and I have been mulling it over in my mind for quite sometime.

I know that I have been fully active in the gospel of Christ at different points in my life. As of my last posting, I have been having somewhat of a difficult time. I have on occasion found myself at church feeling like such a hypocrite for being there. Let me clarify. I know that the gospel is true it is not that I doubt it at all, I do on occasion doubt myself though. When I sit there in church I sometimes feel so low for having the thoughts that I have. My last post is a good example of these. I feel like a hypocrite because I know that the gospel is true, I cannot doubt it, but at times I find myself wavering in my resolve as a disciple of Christ.

Alma 5:26 states, "And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?". In other words - are you active in the gospel? I can truly say that I have experienced a change of heart in my life, and I have undeniably "felt to sing the song of redeeming love" as Christ's Atonement has helped to cleanse my life. Can I say so now? I'm working on it, but I am more aware of where I am, and where I was. It is helpful to periodically stop and check where we are on the path towards our eternal destination, and when we find that we have strayed, as I so often do, take the necessary steps to get back to where we need to be. I have covenanted to stand as a witness of Christ and to be counted among His flock, that is my goal. May God bless us all that we may indeed allow the Atonement into our lives so that we can "[feel] to sing the song of redeeming love".